Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
