you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
