Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
