If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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