I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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