All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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