my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
