Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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