dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
