She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
