and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
