I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
