So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
