I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish i was in the wii world.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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