I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
