thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This is the high leading the old right now
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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