i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
