My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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