you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
