She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
