i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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