is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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