apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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