To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
