Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
