As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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