last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
