you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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