I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If its not for food we ain't going out.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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