I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
