Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
