Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
