Where did you get a picture of my penis
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
