kristin has been a bad kristin
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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