Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this boner is exhausting
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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