We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
