Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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