Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
