Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
