so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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