dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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