I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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