your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
