Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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