Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
