C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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