What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
