I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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