Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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