operation harelip BJ is a go
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
