did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
