yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
