after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize